I miss you like you wouldn't even know. It's ridiculous that my mind constantly thinks about you, even though nothing happened. It's so stupid how I keep doing role plays in my head, hoping it might turn out a certain way, knowing that there was no chance in hell it would happen. I miss you a lot. Everyday the same scene replays in my head: you walked me out and we stood infront of a taxi you had hailed for me. You lean in to give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek but we lean in the same direction and we both pull back immediately before anything else could happen. I still wonder today if I should've just lent in and kissed you. Or if you wanted to kiss me at all. I wonder if I played my cards a little better we would be together today. I wonder if we had gotten together, that you would've stayed instead of move away. There's not a day that goes by that I don't wonder what you're up to or how you are.

I want to talk to you, I do. But when I'm online and you're online, I think- "if he wanted to talk to me, he would" and I see that you talk to other girls, everyone but not me. So it's obvious you don't want to talk to me, then why am I being such a stupid little bitch about this and not moving on?

I want to just hit the clubs and hookup with some random for the night, just to forget about you. Forget about all the times you made me laugh, or the way you made me felt. I just want to forget about the way your hand drew across my back on the way you smelt when you leaned in to talk to me.

You're a million miles away now (literally) doing your own thing for the next year, and I miss you. A lot can change in one year, but I'm not going to sit here hoping you'll come back and fall madly in love with me.

I hate you for doing this to me. For making me feel this way and not even knowing.